Butch or Bitch?

A friend posed the thought, "Would I be a different person if I were straight?" I say a big fat YES! For as long as I can remember, I've always felt more comfortable being one of the girls and being intrigued by looking at the boys. When I pretended to be Luke Duke, it's because I wanted to hook up with Bo, not because I was being macho. I watched Wonder Woman because I wanted to be her. The Incredible Hulk had incredible pecs. Dynasty had hot guys and fabulous dresses. I always felt different. If I were straight, I would have been into sports. I would have made friends a little easier because I wouldn't have been made fun of for being "strange". My self esteem would have been better. I more than likely wouldn't have played piano, been in band, choir or drama (gay sports). All of the things that make me the FABULOUS person I am, would have never been a part of my life. Would I have still been the over-achiever in high school? Would I have been strong academically? Probably, but my focus would have been elsewhere. Even though all of the influences would have been similar, the end result would have changed, because of my reaction to people, places and things would have been different. I wouldn't have had to hide my sexuality and lie to myself and everyone else for so long. I wouldn't have had to tiptoe through life wondering who was gonna find out who I was crushing on. Or wouldn't have been afraid when I got busted for staring at the boys. I could have talked about the girls with everyone else and compared stories. I could have been Mr Touchdown instead of Mr Don't-Let-Them-Know-I'm-A-Fag. But you know what? I am gay and it took a long time to admit that. It took me along time to accept it and sometimes I'm still not sure I have completely. But I can say this: I am more comfortable in my own skin everyday. If people don't want to accept me this way...FUCK 'EM.