Tis the Season to be...

FUCKED UP!!! As of today, I now have 17 months sober. Every day that passes is another day that I wouldn't mind having a drink. I don't WANT one enough to go HAVE one. As I've learned more about myself and this illness, I realize that life doesn't have to be clouded with a haze to make me feel better. I've had some situations that would normally constitute me spending a few hours making love to some vodka, but I actually get enjoyment out of learning that I can handle this sober. Probation, warrants, "break-ups", fucked up boys (from Arkansas) crushing my heart...What can I do. NADA!!! IT JUST HAPPENS!!! How I react is the important part. enough about the trials and tribulations of SOBRIETY... Christmas is in 5 days. I am so excited. Not because I'm expecting all of these monstrous gifts, but because I feel more present for my family than ever before. The people that matter the most have never let me down and have remained with me through all of the CRAP... Can I ever thank you enough? Last Friday, I got together with a group of friends for a small Xmas dinner and had the best times. I may not speak to all of these people regularly, but I know who my friends are. And I LOVE THEM ALL. Then there's my Molly. Lord does that woman have issues...OMG HAHAHA! J/K If anyone has been there for me (and isn't required to be) it's you. Last year when MOM said if I wasn't gay, that you'd be her daughter-in-law...She wasn't lying. Gay boys can have female soulmates and I have found mine. My only fear is that I'll be forgotten when you find your true love...Oops, you already have. I wish you the best of luck with him (that bastard...J/K, I'm just jealous). I love you more than any of my friends and GOOD LUCK trying to find anyone to take your place. You've put up with more of my crap and exes and addictions and flakiness and stupidity and all the other issues. Thank you, Thank you, thank you. To everyone that has touched my life positively or even negatively. Thanks a bunch!!! I have learned a lot. NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION-------- WRITE IN MY FRIGGIN BLOG MORE OFTEN!!!!!!!!